The BIG Travel Debate...

When we adopted Tee back in 2007 our agency provided an escort service from Seoul to the USA. This time around they have changed their practices. I have to admit that while I was disappointed, I understand their policy change regarding this matter.

Our agency believes that taking a child away from a foster mother, the woman who has spent 24 hour days for many months caring for the child, should be directly to the adoptive parents and not an escort. This way they don't have to experience the the "stranger danger" twice along their journey. They feel that this is best practice for the end of the child's journey.

I have to agree on this account, however for us this puts a particular strain on journey. With the cost of travel and having a child at home, we are unsure if one of us should travel or if both of us should. Believe me we go change our minds every single day it seems like on what to do.

First of all, being a teacher, I only get 10 school days off for maternity leave as it is. Travel can take a huge chunk of that and I really want my 10 measly days off to get to bond with our new baby and help him establish our home routine. J on the other hand can have 2 months off for paternity leave. (Fire departments have a better grasp on the importance of parenting new children than other places!) Plus we will have a child in school at that time and I don't want to neglect or cause him any additional stress due to a change in his routine. I'm thinking he will feel enough change after the baby arrives and he realizes he isn't the only baby in the house.

Second, I cannot eat a multitude of things due to allergies and intolerances. I have to read labels very carefully in order to stay feeling good and functional. I've never traveled abroad but I can't imagine that it will be easy for me to find the right foods for my needs. I can't lug 5 days worth of food to Seoul either.

After taking these things into consideration I have to admit that I really do want to go for many reasons. First of all our first child really bonded with J and not with me to start off. That was kind of a downer. Here I waited 5 years to become a mother and when it happens, my child doesn't want anything to do with me. J was with Tee every single minute for 6 weeks after we got home from the airport. He attached to Jamie during the day and only wanted him at night. I really don't want to see this if at all possible with our new baby. Don't get me wrong, I am so blessed to have a wonderful husband who could take paternity leave and that took such great care of our baby, I just felt really jealous because it seemed that I was not needed.

The next reason I want to go is that I really do want to meet our new baby's foster mother. We would also have the opportunity to meet Tee's foster mother as well. These women have played or are playing a very special part in our lives. Without them our children would spend 8-12 months in an orphanage without round the clock care and love. They are essentially my personal heroes for what they have done for my children. I would really like to thank them in person. Seeing Korea in general is something I really want to do as well. I want a sense of where my children came from. I can't wait to take them both back when they are older to see their heritage.

So, then I think perhaps I should go and just really, REALLY watch what I eat. I think a jar of peanut butter and some LaraBars could last me a few days. You can't go wrong with rice either, can you? My only fear about this is being in a distant land alone. J isn't too fond of the idea of me going alone either. However not going, I think it will end up being one of those situations in life that I will regret for a long, long period of time.

Last night we looked up airfare for Korea. It was staggering. $2000 a person and that isn't including our baby's ticket home. My mom has been collecting frequent flyer miles for us but I don't think that will cover one ticket, let alone two. That leaves us with a tough decision to make. For now we have both applied for passports but we aren't sure if we can both swing going. We are praying heavily that we can save enough money to budget both of us to travel. Keep us in your prayers.